search
cart
facebook instagram twitter linkedin youtube
  • Sign In
  • Create Account
  • Sign Out
  • My Account
  • NEWS
  • PRODUCTS
  • CONTRACTORS
    • BATH & KITCHEN PRO
    • BUSINESS MANAGEMENT
    • HIGH EFFICIENCY HOMES
    • TECHNOLOGY
    • WATER TREATMENT
    • PMC COLUMNS
      • Dave Yates: Contractor’s Corner
      • John Siegenthaler: Hydronics Workshop
      • Kenny Chapman: The Blue Collar Coach
      • Matt Michel: Service Plumbing Pros
      • Scott Secor: Heating Perceptions
  • ENGINEERS
    • CONTINUING EDUCATION
    • DECARBONIZATION | ELECTRIFICATION
    • FIRE PROTECTION
    • GEOTHERMAL | SOLAR THERMAL
    • PIPING | PLUMBING | PVF
    • PME COLUMNS
      • Christoph Lohr: Strategic Plumbing Insights
      • David Dexter: Plumbing Talking Points
      • James Dipping: Engineer Viewpoints
      • John Seigenthaler: Renewable Heating Design
      • Lowell Manalo: Plumbing Essentials
      • Misty Guard: Guard on Compliance
  • RADIANT & HYDRONICS
    • RADIANT COMFORT REPORT
    • THE GLITCH & THE FIX
  • INSIGHTS
    • CODES
    • GREEN PLUMBING & MECHANICAL
    • PROJECT PROFILES
    • COLUMNS
      • Codes Corner
      • Natalie Forster: Editorial Opinion
      • Guest Editorial
    • SPONSOR INSIGHTS
  • MEDIA
    • PODCASTS
    • VIDEOS
    • WEBINARS
  • RESOURCES
    • INDUSTRY CALENDAR
    • DIRECTORIES
    • EBOOKS
    • PM BOOKSTORE
    • CE CENTER
    • MARKET RESEARCH
    • CLASSIFIEDS
  • EMAGAZINE
    • EMAGAZINE
    • ARCHIVE ISSUES
    • CONTACT
    • ADVERTISE
    • PME EMAGAZINE ARCHIVES
  • SIGN UP!
Columns

Barbarians In BMWs

By Jim Olsztynski
June 1, 2000
Water heater dip tube failures have alerted lawyers to the scent of weakened prey, and they’re asking for our help!

A contractor passed along to me an e-mail from an attorney named Garrett Hodes requesting “information concerning dip tube failures.” Hodes also said that he “would be interested in speaking to people with dip tube failures.” Not hard to figure out what he’s up to, huh? I responded with the following e-mail message to Mr. Hodes.

Dear Mr. Hodes,

It so happens that your request for information regarding water heater dip tube failures was forwarded to me the day after I watched a couple of episodes of The Learning Channel’s series, “The Roman Empire: Power & Glory.” I couldn’t help but make connections between that program and your request. I will share these observations with you — henceforth and forthwith, as you lawyers are so fond of saying.

Inquisitive minds are fascinated with the Roman Empire in part because we can see so many parallels with modern America. By most measures, the Roman Empire was the most advanced civilization that ever rose in the pre-Renaissance world — just as ours has been since then. Oh, they had their dark side colored by military aggression, political repression, slavery, torture and decadence — just as we have skeletons in our historical closet. Yet, as with us, Rome’s negatives must be balanced against unprecedented achievements in technology and political sophistication. Moreover, they left behind a huge volume of historical literature and artifacts to help scholars understand what made them tick.

As has often been said of the United States in the 20th century, it was a blessing in disguise to be conquered by Rome. That’s because after the Roman legions wiped the blood from their swords, they were generous in sharing their technology and citizenry with their former foes, which usually led to a better life for them.

People in the plumbing industry PM serves are particularly taken with ancient Rome because it harbored the greatest plumbers who ever lived until our modern times. Wherever they expanded their rule, the Romans built aqueducts and sewers, public baths and toilets. In fact, the term “plumber” descends from the Latin “plumbarius,” meaning worker in lead.

The Learning Channel’s series about the Roman Empire was quite enlightening. I learned things that filled many gaps in my sketchy knowledge of this culture’s epoch. For instance, ancient Rome’s population of about one million made it the largest city ever known until 19th century London, and the volume of fresh waster supplied by the magnificent Roman aqueducts to all those people — as measured in gallons per day per citizen — was not equaled in Rome again until the 1950s.

I also learned in more detail the depth of brutality, corruption and decadence that characterized the latter stages of imperial Rome, and which contributed mightily to its demise. Some historians attribute its dissolution in part to widespread dementia caused by the Romans’ use of eating and drinking utensils made of lead. This is an unprovable assertion, although I bet the thought of assigning such blame brings a smile to the face of a lawsuit hungry attorney such as yourself, doesn’t it, Mr. Hodes!

Whatever the reasons, the last few centuries of Roman rule saw a steady deterioration of its economy, military, politics and public order. Again, many see parallels in modern America. In the end, the Romans did not have what it takes to withstand the invading Goths, Vandals, Mongols, Huns and other barbarian hordes that steadily overran the Empire. The remnants of Roman majesty were replaced by anarchy and squalor that took the Western world 1,000 years to overcome.

Here, too, some folks see parallels with modern times — I among them. Except this time the barbarian hordes came not on horseback and wearing animal skins, but in Mercedes and BMWs while dressed in three-piece suits to prey upon an increasingly misguided and demoralized population. Despite being armed with pieces of paper rather than fangs, these modern barbarians are as merciless as wild beasts in stalking the weak and ripping them apart — along with unintended victims caught in their feeding frenzy. In their single-minded quest for plunder, the barbarians in BMWs attack mountains and molehills with equal gusto.

Ah, but pardon my digression, Mr. Hodes. Now if you tell me exactly what you wish to do with the information you request about dip tubes, I’ll decide whether I can be of help.

Share This Story

Looking for a reprint of this article?
From high-res PDFs to custom plaques, order your copy today!

Jim Olsztynski is the former editorial director of Plumbing & Mechanical.

Recommended Content

JOIN TODAY
to unlock your recommendations.

Already have an account? Sign In

  • Worker using the Milwaukee Tool SWITCH PACK drain cleaner

    Pipeline profits: Drain cleaning, pipe inspection create opportunities

    Drain cleaning and inspection services offer lucrative...
    Green Plumbing and Mechanical
    By: Nicole Krawcke
  • Uponor employee, Arturo Moreno

    The reinvestment in American manufacturing and training

    Plumbing & Mechanical Chief Editor Nicole Krawcke and...
    Plumbing News
    By: Nicole Krawcke and Natalie Forster
  • March 2024 Women in Plumbing hero image of woman engineer overlayed by circle of hexagon shapes with numbers from 1 to 10

    Celebrating 10 Influential Women in the Plumbing Industry

    Celebrating Women's History Month and Women in...
    Plumbing News
    By: Nicole Krawcke
Subscribe For Free!
  • eNewsletters
  • Online Registration
  • Subscription Customer Service
  • eMagazine
  • Manage My Preferences

More Videos

Sponsored Content

Sponsored Content is a special paid section where industry companies provide high quality, objective, non-commercial content around topics of interest to the Plumbing & Mechanical audience. All Sponsored Content is supplied by the advertising company and any opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily reflect the views of Plumbing & Mechanical or its parent company, BNP Media. Interested in participating in our Sponsored Content section? Contact your local rep!

close
  • J.J. Keller CMV vehicles on road
    Sponsored byJ. J. Keller & Associates, Inc.

    The dash cam game-changer for small business safety

Popular Stories

Underfloor heating installation with drain sewer hole in bathroom close up on water floor heating.

Using hydronics to leverage time-of-use electrical rates

Watts Nexa mobile image

Behind the Wall: Where smart plumbing gets smarter

Six tankless water heaters that feed the nutraceutical manufacturer’s operations.

How to deliver large volumes of hot water quickly and intermittently

PMCE Home-X April 29 Free Webinar: From Legacy to Leadership: Preparing Your Home Services Business for the Next Generation

Events

November 13, 2024

Future Proofing MEP: Navigating the 2026 High Efficiency Water Heating Standards

Join our deep dive into DOE’s new standards so you can future-proof your MEP practice.

EARN: 0.1 ASPE CEU; 1 AIA LU/HSW; 0.1 IACET CEU*; 1 PDH

View All Submit An Event

Poll

Will business be up or down in 2025?

Do you anticipate business in 2025 to be up or down in comparison to 2024?
View Results Poll Archive

Products

The Water Came To A Stop

The Water Came To A Stop

See More Products

Download the FREE Water Conservation, Quality & Safety eBook: Plumbing Trends Increasing Safe Water Availability

Related Articles

  • 5 Keys To Success In The Plumbing Business

    See More
×

Keep your content unclogged with our newsletters!

Stay in the know on the latest plumbing & piping industry trends.

JOIN TODAY!
  • RESOURCES
    • Advertise
    • Contact Us
    • Directories
    • Store
    • Want More
    • Supply House Times
  • SIGN UP TODAY
    • Create Account
    • eMagazine
    • eNewsletter
    • Customer Service
    • Manage Preferences
  • SERVICES
    • Marketing Services
    • Reprints
    • Market Research
    • List Rental
    • Survey/Respondent Access
  • STAY CONNECTED
    • LinkedIn
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • YouTube
    • X (Twitter)
  • PRIVACY
    • PRIVACY POLICY
    • TERMS & CONDITIONS
    • DO NOT SELL MY PERSONAL INFORMATION
    • PRIVACY REQUEST
    • ACCESSIBILITY

Copyright ©2025. All Rights Reserved BNP Media.

Design, CMS, Hosting & Web Development :: ePublishing